Things I Hate.

This disease that plagues me. The knowledge that for every drop of happiness I taste, there will be an equal amount of depression. That the higher I fly, the farther I have to fall when the down slide comes. That there will ALWAYS be a monster lurking inside me, just out of sight and always ready to pounce and rip me to shreds. That no one seems to understand what I go through, and no matter how hard I try to explain it to them, they will never understand because they're "normal". That my best friend prefers me off my meds, because she says I'm an entirely different person when on them, but she doesn't realize the maelstrom that churns inside me when I'm not on my meds. It's like riding nonstop and sitting backwards and blindfolded in the world's steepest roller coaster...except instead of ripping up and down all the time, sometimes the cars will stop at the highest peak, and that's awesome, feels great, but the whole time you're looking at the sheer fall and knowing that it can't last, that you'll eventually get pushed over and start plummeting down the tracks.