Dear Grandma and Grandpa

Dear Grandma and Grandpa -

I am truly sorry that after 27 years of being in my life you've drawn the conclusion that I am a horrible person. You judge me so quickly, though, and won't even consider that your judgments may be wrong. You say that I constantly have an attitude and you provide my tone of voice and facial expressions as evidence. You're correct. I do have a sarcastic tone of voice. It is just how I am, how I have been...my mother sounds just as sarcastic, I came by it naturally. That does not, however, mean that I'm being a bitch. It's just how my voice is. I don't know how to change it, or if I even can. Perhaps, though, instead of expecting me to change myself, you could accept that I do not speak with ill intent? You say that my facial expressions say that I don't want to be bothered, but how can you know the emotion I'm feeling? I've never had the best of control over my facial features, and to be honest with you, they're not a very good tell as to what I'm actually thinking. Earlier, you said I "look like I can't be bothered" when in fact, I was just trying to remember in order to answer your question. You say that I "think that I'm so much smarter than everyone else." That's nowhere near true, but I do think I'm smarter than you and Grandpa give me credit for. When I try to explain something to you, or correct something that I know to be incorrect, it's not because I think I'm smarter, it's just an attempt to show you that I do know some things, and also because if I say something that's wrong, I would want someone to correct me so I don't go around misinformed. You and Grandpa seem to think I'm stupid, by the way you breeze when I'm trying to talk, and the way he rolls his eyes when I speak, but I'm NOT. Maybe I explain things as a way to try and prove that to you.

It hurts me more than I can even say that you think I'm such a bad person. You and Grandpa are about the closest people to me, you practically raised me for gods sake, and all I want is for you to see that I'm a good person. To not treat me as if I'm a stupid piece of shit. I'd like to feel like you love me, and don't just feel like I'm an obligation your son left you. Because honestly, that's how I've felt for a very long time.

I love you both more than I can tell you. I just really wish that the sentiment were returned.

Love,
Aimee